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I wish there were a socially acceptable way to tell people that one has problems picking up subtle social cues, hints etc.
With most people I know well and get on with they eventually tell me something like “when I first met you I thought you hated me” or “I thought you were trying to make me look bad by correcting me”
I don’t let this feedback just wash over me. Project “Less Obnoxious! more Approachable!” has been ongoing for decades. But, even still I can’t read minds.
It’s especially frustrating when I discover someone thinks I’m doing something socially advanced and devious. I’m just struggling to seem normal, buddy. I don’t have the time, or the understanding of people required to plot anything against you. Just tell me what’s annoying. I do not know. Please just tell me. People are terrifying and inscrutable and I don’t want to be one of them in your life.
@futurebird so much this
@futurebird I only know you via Mastodon here, but FWIW you've always come across as 'normal' to me. 
@SKleefeld I love interacting via text. It’s so much easier than talking— I can re-read what people say and think about it. I can take all the time I want to respond. I often text my friends when they are in the same room and there are two conversations. The text one is higher quality IMO.
The Grove @futurebird 
FELT
FELTFELTFELTFELTFELT
Honestly with folx of that level of insecurity (I def read those sentiments if I catch them fully toxicly with me reading them as insecure, just cuz I can’t in my life with that for anything more than casual acquaintances), I just go “so what if I am?” and make a bet on them having to contend with me being the autonomous agent to them that I am aka make it v real that such actions are never off the table…
Just cuz for me, I’d rather have mfers like that then distance themselves from me… or go thru the self work to actually like, be here for the trust fostering labor that needs to happen in any connection, instead of like, idk, making it my problem that they think folx are constantly plotting their downfall
Aka… I actually kinda hate the assumption that folx are always aligned if they’re friends… cuz like to me there’s an insidious “with me or against me” twisted up in there
So that if say, I have an issue to raise with a friend, I feel less safe to if folx enter with this presupposed alignment with friendships :/
…
Esp cuz yeh… personal situation of course, shit like that can cause me to dissociate into fawning HARD, cuz it puts me in a position to be made to feel like my living style is to cater to another’s comfortability more than my own, and yeahno that’s the traumahole, I’m GONE when that kinda shit happens, and it ends up making a mess of the connection more :/
@futurebird Esp cuz I’ve met and bumped into mfers who actually desire to plot the downfall of others. And it’s v much either you’re in a position which makes you a tasty target (and most folx I know are not that, esp my contexts for connection), or it’s a mfer with strong desires to be a mfer, and they got their own patterns of behavior which imho are v much being more aggressively embedded in the norms of acceptability rnrn cuz the norms rn are steeped in hierarchical and abuse culture immersed nonsense XD
No it is just a fact that when I don't understand people it is to deliberately make them furious with me.
That is the only possible reason because everybody wants that, right? People are so clever when they suss my agenda to be universally hated, no sir they aren't fools.
@futurebird Don't overthink it. If you're hearing people saying that, the message is that hat people are comfortable sharing silly first impressions with you.
I have resting bitch face, my best friend is a man of few words and people assume we're pricks until they know better. Play the cards you're dealt, if you're making friends you're doing fine.
Words like that hurt when you're vulnerable, but flipped around, you can be yourself, be intimidating and still make friends. How cool is that?
@futurebird I think you might be neurodivergent(?) But the thing is that a lot of studies have shown that neurotypical people are very good at clocking us immediately, and also that they tend to associate our different expressions with dishonesty when we mask, and maliciousness against us if we don't. There's no real solution to this on the personal level I'm afraid, and will require structural solutions on neurotypical society's side, it's definitely exhausting though.
@futurebird This so much *le sigh*
I think you're fascinating, smart, and very real. Too many people are too busy fanticising problems w other people so they can hide from themselves. At 70 I've decided I'm not going to give them my worry energy anymore. Wish I'd made that decision younger. 
@futurebird there's nothing wrong with being socially advanced or devious